


You're Worthy to Us

by BatmanWhoLaughss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Kanan Jarrus, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Jaig Eyes (Star Wars), Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Multi, Post-Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27586522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/pseuds/BatmanWhoLaughss
Summary: Jaig eyes are special on Mandalore. They’re given to mighty warriors, to soldiers who performed great acts of bravery or sacrifice in battle. Her mother always told her never to take them lightly, and that they should only be worn by those who earned them. They were meant to be given only in rare cases, to someone who’s proven themselves in battle beyond the shadow of a doubt.And there’s nobody in the galaxy more worthy of wearing them than Kanan.
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus & Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 12
Kudos: 100





	You're Worthy to Us

**Author's Note:**

> I am in my Kanan and Sabine father/daughter feels again, what else is new. Enjoy!!!

It’s been two long, grueling months since Kanan was blinded. The grief still hangs in a thick cloud that permeates the entire ship. They’ve all been doing their best to keep it together, for Kanan’s sake, but he’s always been the one to keep the crew balanced. But now that Kanan’s unsteady on his feet for the first time since Sabine has known him, she feels like the whole ship is off-kilter. 

Zeb has been disappearing whenever he can, offering Sato help with whatever missions or base operations he has planned. Anything to get off the ship. Ezra barely leaves his room, and when he does, he’s moody and subdued. Chopper mans the cockpit while Hera stays with Kanan, guiding him around the Ghost and the base and spending most nights in his cabin, even though she thinks the others don’t notice. And Sabine….

She’s been trying to figure out what to do for weeks. At first she was shocked, trying to imagine how life would go on without Kanan’s sight. She hated seeing him so unsure–it’s so unlike him. Then she got angry, and started volunteering to go on strikes with Phoenix Squadron just so she could blow something up every once in a while. 

Then she started thinking. Sabine Wren has always been a practical person, preferring to attack any problem from a strategic angle. So she got to work on making the Ghost an easier place to navigate for Kanan. She labeled every door and ship control and item in the pantry with a tactile alphabet so that Kanan could find his way around. She got to work setting up a text-to-speech system for him to use in case he needed to send messages. She knew it wasn’t much, but it was something, and from the tiny smile Kanan gave her when she started showing him how to read the new alphabet, she could tell he appreciated it. 

But he was still unsteady, and palpably upset, so much so that the entire crew could tell. Which is why Sabine is currently sitting in her room, attempting to morph an old piece of metal that just doesn’t want to bend correctly and cursing quietly.

Kanan still wears a blindfold over his eyes, even though he’s been medically cleared for weeks now and doesn’t need to keep them bandaged. She’s only seen him with his eyes uncovered once, and she could see the way the dark scar stretched across the skin there. She asked Hera about it, once, and she admitted that he didn’t want the rest of the crew to see what he looked like now. Hera admitted one day, with a sad smile that Kanan thought it would save the rest of them some pain if they didn’t have to look at his eyes. And there’s also the matter of his wounded pride.

So Sabine has been hard at work making him a mask, something that can sit comfortably on his face and cover his eyes in battle. At the very least, it would help him avoid the stares of curious soldiers and pilots. It  _ hurts _ , knowing that he’s going through this and that none of them can help, so she wants to do something nice for him, and maybe make him smile a bit. She hasn’t seen Kanan smile in weeks.

Finally, the metal bends, and she finishes molding the mask exactly the way she wants to. It’s not much, just a plain piece of muted grey steel molded to cover the top half of Kanan’s face. But something’s missing. Something that shows what he means to her–to all of them, and that acknowledges what he lost.

And then it clicks, so she reaches for the small metal scraper she keeps with the rest of her tools. She works fast, carving out a pattern she’s known since the earliest days of her life. Two upward curves in an inverted-v shape, followed by tiny accents on the inside.

Jaig eyes are special on Mandalore. They’re given to mighty warriors, to soldiers who performed great acts of bravery or sacrifice in battle. Her mother always told her never to take them lightly, and that they should only be worn by those who earned them. They were meant to be given only in rare cases, to someone who’s proven themselves in battle beyond the shadow of a doubt.

And there’s nobody in the galaxy more worthy of wearing them than Kanan.

Kanan’s always kept them together, even on days where it seemed like the Ghost crew was going to rip itself apart at the seams. He’s always there with a steady hand and words of wisdom, even when they can all tell he isn’t feeling the best, himself. Even on days when Hera wasn’t feeling well, he always took it in stride, taking over leadership for the day to take the weight off the rest of their shoulders. He’s risked everything to save them, time and time again, even letting himself be tortured for weeks just to keep the rest of them safe. 

_ He deserves them, _ she thinks, for everything he’s given and all the different ways he cares. She rifles through her supplies for a small airbrush, quietly coating the etchings with a pale gold spray paint. 

She gives herself a satisfied smile as she stares at her handiwork, before setting the mask down on the small table to dry. 

\-----

Sabine finds him in the common room later that rotation. 

He’s sitting in one of the small chairs in the corner of the room, eyes closed and face peaceful. He’s trying to meditate, because he’s been so  _ blocked _ lately, but there’s a crease in his brow that he can’t shake. He’s been working on trying to sense the environment around him, to try and get familiar with the Ghost the only way he can, now. So far, it hasn’t worked.

“Kanan?” a voice says, breaking the silence.

His head turns towards the source of the sound, and he’s trying not to betray just how startled he is. But he recognizes the voice. “Hey, Sabine. What’s up?” 

He’s trying to keep his voice light, and trying to ignore the ache in the pit of his stomach that always seems to show up whenever he’s around the rest of the crew. It hurts to be around them, when he knows he’ll never see them again. But he knows they need him to keep up appearances, so he’s been trying to at least leave his room every once in a while.

He hears Sabine sigh and take a step closer to where he’s sitting. “I’ve been thinking,” she starts. “I know we’re gonna have to make adjustments, with all this. But–” She cuts herself off, and Kanan can feel the apprehension radiating from her as she grabs his hand, suddenly. “I was trying to figure out what I can do, other than what I’ve already done.”

“Sabine…” he says, as the ache in his chest gets bigger. Everyone’s been trying  _ so hard _ to help him through this, and he wants them to know that this isn’t their burden to bear. “You don’t have to–” 

“I know, I know. I know what you’re gonna say. But I wanted to.” She presses something into his hands, and he can’t help but raise an eyebrow. “I made you something. You can use it to cover your face, in battle, so that things won’t get in your eyes while you fight.” Sabine’s rambling, and he can feel the embarrassment creeping into her presence. Sabine isn’t an emotional person–she never has been, so whatever this is, it must be important to her. 

His fingers trace the piece of metal. It’s shaped well, and there’s a comfortable material underneath the metal that will mold well to his face. It’s… practical, and thoughtful, and from the smooth feel of the metal and the seamless craftsmanship, he can tell just how much work Sabine put into making it.

“Sabine, I–” He swallows down the lump in his throat, which has suddenly gotten much bigger. “Thank you. This is… very thoughtful.” He gives her a small, genuine smile. It’ll probably need to be adjusted to sit on his face properly, but he doesn’t say that. He can feel how happy she is; there’s a lightness to her aura in the Force that he hasn’t felt in a while. 

Then he feels her grab his hand again. “There’s… more.” Her voice is serious now, thoughtful with a tinge of apprehension. She moves his fingers around to the front of the mask, and he’s surprised to feel an impression in the metal. His brow furrows as his fingers explore the marks, tracing the two identical, opposite curves slowly, until it finally clicks. 

The lump in his throat comes back, and for a moment he’s too overwhelmed to speak.  _ Is she… _ “Sabine,” he whispers. “Are these…?” 

“Jaig eyes,” Sabine says, softly. 

Now his eyes are burning with unshed tears, and he can’t help but think that he’s lucky they have fully healed. “You’re– you’re giving me jaig eyes?”

“You know what they mean?” She tries and fails to hide her surprise. 

“Only that they’re of special significance to Mandalorians,” Kanan says. 

Sabine puts a hand on his shoulder as his fingers keep tracing the design. “We call them the Eyes of the Hero,” she says softly. “They’re given to those who’ve performed great deeds or made great sacrifices in battle. It’s one of the highest honors we have.” He could swear he hears a tremor in her voice. “I thought… I thought you should have them, Kanan.” 

“I…” He’s lost for words again, but before he can come up with something to say, Sabine hugs him, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing tight. That’s another thing about Sabine. Hugs are rare for her, and when she chooses to give them, they’re a pretty big deal. Kanan’s heart swells with affection as he hugs her back. “I don’t know what to say, Sabine. Thank you.” 

She doesn’t say anything, just squeezes a little tighter.

\------

Hera wanders out of the cockpit late that night, healing towards her bunk and cracking her neck. It’s been a long, dreary day, and her head is spinning with new orders and battle plans and bureaucratic stuff that she doesn’t want to think about. She just wants to sleep, and maybe coax Kanan into sharing her bunk with her so she can make sure  _ he _ sleeps too. She knows restful sleep isn’t easy for him to come by, these days. 

She’s surprised to see that the door to his cabin is slightly open. She peeks in, finding him sitting on the bed, clad only in a pair of thin sleep pants. He’s holding something that looks like a rounded piece of metal in his hands, and his expression looks thoughtful, almost pained. 

“Kanan?” she asks, tentatively stepping inside. His face doesn’t change, but he nods at her, by way of greeting. “Everything alright?” 

He nods again, so she walks over to him, taking a seat next to him on the bed and resting a hand on his knee. She gets a better look at the object in his hand, and the way his fingers are slowly tracing the design there. It’s a piece of metal affixed to a softer material, and it looks like it’s molded perfectly to fit over his eyes. “What’s that?” Hera says.

Kanan swallows, and she can see the way he blushes. “Sabine made it for me,” he mumbles, tucking his chin soo his head drops towards the floor. “She said I could use it to cover my eyes in battle.” 

Hera can’t help but let out a soft smile. She knows Sabine has been struggling, almost as much as Ezra has, and she’s been trying to do everything she can to make Kanan’s adjustment a bit easier on him. “That was nice of her.” Hera’s hand moves from his knee to his shoulder. 

She can tell that there’s something bothering him, though. “Yeah…” he says. “Yeah, it’ll come in handy.” He seems distant, like there’s something weighing on him.

Hera rubs his back. “You can wear it when you’re around other people.” He’s told her before, about his insecurities around the scar that slashes across his face now. He’s never been a particularly vain person, but Hera’s glad that he’ll have something to make him feel a little bit more at home, now.

Kanan nods, then grimaces. “Yeah. Yeah, but I–” He sighs, then changes tactics. He tilts the metal in his hands, so the design on the front of it catches the light. Hera’s breath hitches as she recognizes the small symbols, embossed in pale gold and etched into the metal so that Kanan could feel them. 

He must feel her surprise, because he sighs again, heavy with everything he’s feeling. “She gave me jaig eyes,” he whispers. 

Hera knows what jaig eyes mean. Her father had a Mandalorian friend, and had told her what they symbolized. Her heart swelled at what Sabine had done, and what the gesture really meant. Hera’s not Mandalorian, but she knows in her bones that he deserves them, after everything he’s done for them, and for the Rebellion. “That’s great, love.” But his face seems to fall even further as she speaks, like he’s close to tears. “Why are you upset?”

He lets out a shaky breath, and Hera reaches for his hand as she sees the tears welling in his eyes. “She shouldn’t– I’m not–” His voice cracks, and Hera’s heart cracks along with it, because she knows exactly what he’s thinking. “Everything that happened was my  _ fault _ ,” he whispers. “I don’t deserve to wear these.” 

Hera expected as much, but she keeps her voice level and even. “Don’t give me that. Not again.” She reaches to cup his face, turning it to face her. “We talked about this. No one blames you.”

He opens his mouth, like he’s going to say something else, but she silences him with her fingers on his lips. “Sabine loves you. She looks up to you. She knows how hard you fought, how hard you  _ always _ fight, for this family. And she thinks you’re worthy.” 

“I don’t.” Kanan says, darkly. “Ahsoka died. Because of me.” 

“No,” Hera says, her voice still deliberately soft. It’s really tempting just to smack him until he sees sense, but she knows that won’t accomplish anything except making him mad at her. She knows part of him is always going to feel guilty about what happened, but she needs to at least try and get through to him. “Ahsoka died because of Maul. He hurt all three of you, and you barely came back in one piece. This is not on you.” It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation, and it won’t be the last, but she sees his frown grow slightly less pronounced.

She presses her lips against his quickly, pulling away a moment later. She can’t help but smirk as he chases after her, but there’s still more to say. “Sabine knows you’re worthy,” she says, kissing his forehead. “I know you’re worthy. So why don’t you believe us?” 

Hera knows why… has always known why. Kanan Jarrus’ worst enemy was his own perpetual self-loathing, and she swore a long time ago that she would never stop trying to make that go away. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of it, before Malachor, but now it’s like blindness has undone all of the slow, steady progress she’s made. “I’m trying to,” Kanan says. “But it just… feels like I failed.” 

“You survived.” Hera presses one last kiss against his lips. “Sometimes that’s all you can do. Sometimes that’s enough.” 

For a moment, something passes over his face, and she thinks he’s finally starting to believe her. 

\-----

A few days later, Hera spots Kanan and Sabine in the common room of the Ghost. Kanan is wearing the mask, and Sabine is helping him adjust it so that it sits more comfortably on his head. It’s going to take some getting used to, for sure, but she can’t deny the practicality of it. 

And the smiles on both of their faces makes her smile too.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Twitter if you wanna keep in touch!! @targaryenjedii


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